The Scope of Practice Podcast

Don't Compromise on your Marriage - Dr. Alexandra Stockwell

• Brent Lacey • Episode 85

Share episode

Episode 85 - Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is a physician and an Intimate Marriage Expert, known as “The Intimacy Doctor,” who specializes in coaching couples to build beautiful, long-lasting, passionate relationships. She is the bestselling author of “Uncompromising Intimacy” and host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast. A wife of 25 years and a mother of 4, Alexandra believes the key to passion and fulfillment, intimacy and success, isn’t compromise--it’s actions that don't compromise on your marriage. As we get ready for the Marriage and Money, M.D. summit this week, I’m excited to bring you this discussion on how we can honor and serve our spouses better and how that translates to our overall happiness and lifelong success. 

Click here to download your free CME credits for listening to the show!

Register for the Marriage and Money, M.D. Summit for free!

For physicians who want a stronger marriage and better path to building wealth

Join us for this incredible free online event November 15-17, 2021!

Medical careers drain time and energy from physicians and their spouses, not to mention the crushing debt most doctors are faced with when they first come out of training. The Marriage and Money, M.D. summit is a free 3-day online event that will give physician families the tools, resources, and encouragement they need to strengthen their marriage and build wealth so they can have the happy family and financial independence they deserve!

Click here to learn more and sign up for free today!

Meet Alexandra Stockwell, M.D.

Alexandra Stockwell, MD, is a physician and an Intimate Marriage Expert, known as “The Intimacy Doctor,” who specializes in coaching couples to build beautiful, long-lasting, passionate relationships.

She is the bestselling author of “Uncompromising Intimacy” and host of The Intimate Marriage Podcast.  A wife of 25 years and a mother of 4, Alexandra believes the key to passion and fulfillment, intimacy and success, isn’t compromise--it’s being unwilling to compromise. Because when both people feel free to be themselves, the relationship becomes juicy, nourishing, and deeply satisfying.

Connect to Dr. Alexandra Stockwell 

Join the Business and Personal Finance for Physicians and Dentists Facebook Group!

Don'T Compromise On Your Marriage

2021, Brent Lacey And The Scope Of Practice Podcast
The Scope of Practice Podcast


Transcript

[0:00] This weekend I was helping my kids build a Lego model of the Taj Mahal
this head is huge it's almost 6,000 pieces and it's incredibly intricate but we were learning about the real Taj Mahal along with that and it was really fascinating to learn the history behind it you know it took over 20 years to complete the work on that building.
It was built by an emperor in the 1600s to be the tomb for his wife
setting aside the economic implications of building such a structure which is approximately a billion dollars in today's money,
it's an incredible expression of this man's love for his wife that he went to Such Great Lengths to honor her.
Now you may not have a spare billion dollars lying around to construct a mausoleum for your spouse but there are lots of ways that you can and do honor him or her.
This week we're taking a break from the usual hustle and grind of business to talk about our most important.
Which is our relationship with our spouse so I'm excited for you to join me on this very special edition of the scope of practice podcast let's kick it.

[0:57] Music.

[1:03] Welcome to the scope of practice podcast where we help busy Healthcare professionals learn to manage their businesses successfully in master their personal finances now here's your host dr. Brent Lacey.
Hey y'all thanks so much for joining me for the scope of practice podcast where you can get the knowledge and resources you need to grow your leadership skills your business and your personal finances.
Welcome to episode 85.

[1:26] If you haven't already subscribe to the podcast go ahead and hit that subscribe button right now and also hit the button at the top of the podcast player so you can turn on your automatic downloads otherwise you'll get to someplace like in my hospital where you just have no cell phone service and you won't be able to listen to this
also don't forget the podcast is eligible for CME credits now which is completely free.
Every new podcast episode is now eligible for a mapr a category 1 CME credits just click the link in the podcast description or go to www.desktoplearn.com.
/ podcast CME to download your CME credits for free if you're listening to this on the day that it airs don't forget the today guys I am just.
Overcome with excitement today today is the start of the free online Summit that I'm hosting this year called marriage and money MD it is a free
three day of online event that would give physician families the tools the resources and importantly the encouragement they need to strengthen their marriage
and build wealth so they can have the happy family and financial Independence they deserve.
Just go to www.marriageguy.com money em d.com or click the link in the podcast description to sign up.
It's totally free to sign up so sign up today and even if you can't attend Live sign up anyway and you'll get access to the replays of the talks for the rest of the week.

[2:41] The conference is also eligible for up to 21 category 1 CME credits so don't miss out on getting to knock out all of your CME for the year in this one event.
Again the Summit is free to attend so sign up today at www.marriageguy.com money MD.com.

[2:57] My guest today is dr. Alexandra Stockwell dr. Stockwell is a physician and an intimate marriage expert known as the intimacy doctor.
She specializes in coaching couples to build beautiful long-lasting passionate relationships she's the best selling author of uncompromising intimacy and host of the intimate marriage podcast.
Wife of 25 years and a mother of four dr. Stockwell believes the key to passion and fulfillment and intimacy and success isn't compromised but being
unwilling to compromise so as we get ready for the marriage and money MD Summit this week I am excited to bring you this discussion on how we can honor and serve our spouses better and how that translates to our overall happiness and life long success
so
host of the intimate marriage podcast doctor Stockwell thanks so much for joining us it's my pleasure well I'm excited to have you this is a little bit of a,
break from our normal topic of conversation you know normally we're talking very specifically about business management leadership.

[4:11] Personal finances but I thought it would be really fitting this month since we're hosting the marriage and money Summit November 15 through 17 to talk to some folks about some money and marriage related topics and.

[4:23] Really when you think about it the marital relationship is so
Central and so pivotal to everything in our life that it necessarily affects what we do in our business and it has really serious ramifications for our career choices and what choices we make with regard to where we decide to work how long we decide to work
what types of career moves we make and so I feel like having a discussion about that
is actually quite relevant is quite germane to the topic of the show so I really appreciate you coming on I'm really excited to have you
I'm really glad to be here too and while listening to you just now I'm reminded of Sheryl Sandberg the CEO of Facebook who said
after her incredible rise as a woman in Tech and Leadership she said
the most important career decision I ever made
I was marrying my husband well that is a refreshing thing to hear it's not the kind of thing you hear from Executives and really
you know honestly a lot of people at various ends of the
the career ladder so it's really wonderful to hear folks talking about that so I would love for you to talk a little bit about your journey just to let people get to know you a bit what got you interested in moving from.
Clinical medicine to what you do now well it was.

[5:46] A circuitous path very indirect and it really started in 2005 2006.

[5:55] And at the time I didn't know any Physicians who were leaving clinical medicine other than those honestly who had some kind of an accident or injury or addiction but no one who was.
Healthy and
clear in their mind who was walking away from Clinical medicine so I had a lot of Shame about it and I really did not tell my story much at all it's really just
now that there's this whole growth of coaches who are Physicians that I even talked about it but what really happened is that
I was in my mid-30s.
I was married I met my husband the first week of medical school and we had three of our four children at that time I'd paid off my medical school loans and I had a small Practice North of Boston and basically,
I expected to feel really contented,
like I had worked so hard to get to this point and I didn't and I didn't really entirely know what to do with it but one thing I knew is that.
Most of what I had done in my life it was.

[7:02] A means to an end even going on vacation it was a means to have make good memories with the family it felt like I always had an agenda and so,
without telling anyone my doubts about continuing to practice medicine which honestly I really enjoyed I just wasn't sure how I was going to stay with something that wasn't
deeply fulfilling for another 40 years I took a sabbatical and I gave myself permission to do things.
Just because I felt like it not because it was going to accomplish anything other than having the experience I was having and,
as I gave myself permission to just do things because I felt like it I took a painting class I took a dancing class I sat by the river eventually I got to wear my own marriage.

[7:52] Became a lot more important to me than maybe it had been when I was so busy with work and raising children
it had been important but I hadn't had the time to really connect with my experience and as I did
I wanted to enjoy my marriage more I wanted to feel more connected with my husband we never had a bad marriage we never had a phase of a lot of fighting but I just.
I knew it could be better and in that context I took a very intense and,
Long training in sensuality and sexuality in order to really be able to expand and enjoy my own marriage more
and this training doubled as a coach training and at the time I didn't know what a coach was I took my MD very seriously and wasn't
really looking for coaching but because I was there I thought well let me go to the teaching lab and learn about it.
And when I did I just fell in love with coaching and as I.

[9:00] Expanded and enhanced my own marriage I simultaneously gain the skills to help other people do so as well.
That's really wonderful well you know I'd be interested too
dive into some of your experiences working with Physicians and you know other folks around but let's start with the basic
idea of every marriage is unique and no marriage is unique and what I mean by that is that every marriage is unique to the personalities of the individuals that is that are in the marriage but we all face.
Similar challenges and and so I think there's a lot of
common ground to be held to be seen with a lot of different areas of marital life but there's also some unique things so what are some of the unique challenges that Physicians face inside in the context of a medical marriage.
In a medical marriage and this is going to be true whether one person is a physician or both.
I really think fundamentally the biggest unique challenge is that as Physicians we are trained.
To disconnect from our emotions
it is essential to be professional to be at the bedside of someone with all kinds of suffering or coming into the ER with a trauma whatever the situation is in order for us to.

[10:21] Think clearly and practice clinical medicine well and the starts in our training with long hours and the repeated tests and so on and so forth It's just essential that we be able to
put our emotions in a box and continue to function well and while.
That may or may not serve Us in medicine it really doesn't serve us in our marriages because when we come home after having.
Appropriately disconnected from our emotions 4812 30 hours day after day.

[11:00] We don't really remember how to,
simply feel and be with ourselves and our spouse in a way that is really essential to create emotional intimacy which in turn is essential for
any other kind of intimacy as well so really the place that I end up starting with doctors it's not very glamorous.
And it sounds simple but it actually takes a lot of courage and is extremely vulnerable.

[11:34] To just slow down and realize an honor how you feel.

[11:41] Well that kind of thing becomes really important both from the The Physician spouse as well as the non-physician spouse or if it's a dual physician household then really from from both folks and so
As You observe we have a lot of challenges when we fail to recognize that
difference between needing to be somewhat dispassionate and you know somewhat emotionally disconnected at work I mean obviously we care about our patients and we.

[12:09] We are at we invest a lot of emotion but but we do put up some firewalls to protect us because we're around so much sadness and even death on a regular basis.
Just have to compartmentalize that a little bit but like you said you really can't do that with your family what are some of the other areas maybe some other observations that you've had working with your clients how.
Their career may affect their marriage.
And their family life and maybe that's positive or negative but what are some ways that you see people translate what they do at work to the you know the way that they are with their family.
Well another way which also can be very challenging is that.
Most of medicine relatively speaking,
involves being in a high adrenaline State maybe there's an exception with a very peaceful primary care practice when their loads of specialists around to refer to but even in that situation being
in the face of attending to patients it is.
High adrenaline State and basic Family Life relatively speaking can be quite
boring and mundane and there really is something to appreciating The Simple Pleasures of.

[13:26] A cup of tea or hearing about a child's day in school and for many Physicians,
we have to create mindfulness in order to really genuinely be interested in pay attention to things that
just are not as intense as what we're used to during our work days and
any given moment it may not look like this but overall we are more stimulated at work than we are at home most of the time
yeah and there's certainly some truth to that and maybe that's maybe that's a good thing maybe that's not a good thing I think it depends a little bit on your personality but it does require a mindset shift you know when you walk through that front door
you're not the person who was just performing surgery you're the person who's dead you know you're the.

[14:20] The person who's going to go wrestle with the kids are going to take the kids to soccer practice or cook dinner or whatever it is that you're doing yeah actually there's something super simple for someone who really wants to be able to make that transition and maybe it's not.
Coming so simply and that is
to put on a bracelet or a certain hat or wear a ring I'm just thinking of different things it might be but there's something that can remind you that now you're in dad mode and then.
You can relax it essentially creates an association that every time you're wearing your thin green rubber band bracelet.
Your in dad mode and you take that off when you
put your scrubs on and put your clogs on and head into the or this interesting idea and you know even if you're not doing that with a physical item maybe you're doing that mentally you know you get out of the car and just before you walk in the front door just mentally take off your.
Doctor had and mentally put on a different hat and just say okay now I'm in dad mode now I'm in wife mode now man,
you know husband or her mom mode or whatever yeah taking a moment for those transitions is actually really helpful because otherwise this Physicians we have
a tendency to manage the people around us and whether a doctor or not no spouse wants to be managed the way you manage the people around you as a functioning physician.

[15:48] Well I love them we're coming up with some concrete things that we can do that will help us in our day-to-day life,
let's step let's step back a little bit so we're talking tactics a little bit let's talk strategy for a second so I love strategic thinking I love that's kind of my my thing is I Love Thinking big picture and you know where we going 10 years from now 20 years from now so.
As we're thinking about planning a life together with our spouse how do we plan for
marital success how do we plan for a life of marital success as a physician is there is there a design to it is there a strategy to it or is it just a.
Kind of going with the flow and you know just learning on the fly as situations arise and just reacting to things and learning and just or is there a way to plan for things and do things in a deliberate strategic way that will ultimately lead to Our Success.

[16:37] There absolutely is a strategy and I think the primary strategy is to be really clear.
On the purpose or the foundation of your marriage and if.

[16:49] You're not yet engaged this is a conversation to have if you're engaged not married is a conversation to have and if you've been together for 30 years it's a conversation to have.

[16:58] Because very often the things that bring people together are not actually the things that sustain.
A passionate connected High,
functioning marriage and so what do I mean by that like sometimes people will get together because they have similar backgrounds or because they're both Physicians that's a very common one or.
Because I don't know they both like to.
Ballroom dance whatever it is but those are things that for various couples will last varying lengths of time and the reason that I mentioned this is that.
The purpose of marriage has evolved
a lot over the last decades not that long ago in terms of human evolution the function of marriage was really about property in the case of aristocrats in,
Europe it was to maintain peace and political alliances and I don't really think as a culture we've
clay dialed in on the purpose of marriage unless someone is marrying out of a religious context and conviction but the idea of
Falling in Love.
And not being enough to sustain a marriage the data really does not show that to be adequate so in terms of a strategy I think really taking time to identify.

[18:28] What is the foundation what is the thing that really brings us together which.
Will continue to grow with us as life finds us and we find life so in the case of my marriage the absolute primary foundation for my husband and me is our respective.
Commitment to our
own personal growth and one another's and that is served us immensely well there certainly are couples for whom honoring God together would serve that purpose as well but there are plenty of people who haven't
actually taken the time to identify what is the foundation and once you identify it is it something that's going to last and the thing that I would add to that
I guide my clients to create a vision statement
for the marriage we're all familiar with how any good business has a vision statement and a mission statement
and going through the process of creating something similar for your marriage is incredibly incredibly helpful because when things are going well.
It serves.

[19:39] As a due north and when things aren't going well it's something that you can refer to knowing that you both intend to be headed in the same direction.

[19:48] Love that well let me ask you about something you just said then so you said that,
basically this idea of falling in love and hoping that that will be sufficient to sustain the marriage long-term is not borne out by the data and you know I think that's really right.

[20:04] You know Society I think focuses a lot on this idea of being in love and and falling in love and you know marrying the one you love and that sort of thing so.

[20:13] Love alone is not enough to sustain us then what do we do when.
You start to feel the that initial excitement in that initial love start to fade over time and start
like as you said any marriage where there's mutual respect and mutual admiration and a mutual commitment to each other that will get replaced over time by other things but.
It can be very jolting for people to start feeling like.
That initial excitement phase and and the sort of in love feeling is fading away and you know so how do we push through that and
you know and continue to maintain a healthy and sustaining and thriving marriage when we start to make those kinds of changes in our relationship.
Well the first thing is exactly what you're saying about Society teaching us that we fall in love and that's what sustains things we really have a lack of role models for.
Juicy passionate inspiring long-lasting relationships and no matter how smart we are we still are mammals.

[21:19] And one of our primary ways of learning is through imitation particularly when it comes to relationships so the lack of Role Models has severe consequences and the reason that I say that is that.
I believe that relationships can get better and better and better and I know many couples who exemplify that so I don't subscribe to
the love Fades and you need to replace it with other things.

[21:49] I don't really think you meant it quite like that but what I do want to say is that one of the most common.
Pieces of advice that's given when it comes to marriage is that you have to learn to compromise and that is wrong
if what you want is a conflict-free bland neutral companionship where the love Fades but you have a nice friendly connection basically or friendly collaboration.
Compromise will get you there but in order to have a really rich loving exciting marriage.
Through the decades the key is to be uncompromising and what I mean by that is not that you always get your own way that's not the sense of uncompromising what I mean is that where compromise is when.
You hold back your own truth in order for your spouse to be comfortable you don't say what you feel think or desire
so your spouse is comfortable that leads to the fading.

[22:59] Of passion when you find a way with kindness and vulnerability to keep sharing the truth of.
What your experience is who you are who you are becoming as you grow and your partner does the same that really is what makes four,
an amazing ongoing Dynamic connection so
how do we then bear that out practically speaking so one of the challenges that we find with physician marriages with medical marriages is just a lack of time frankly right so it's almost like you've invited a third person into the marriage
by having a medical career I mean that is the level of time commitment and emotion commitment and and thought commitment that is really required
excel in the medical field you really have to treat it almost like a relationship with another person and so that's challenging right so three is kind of a crowd and in the context of a marriage so as we have our.
Our career is naturally inclined towards crowding out the everything else around it including the marriage relationship.

[24:08] How do we sustain that commitment to our spouse how do we how do we make time for each other with all the other kind of time commitments that we have.
Well I definitely think time is important but I don't think it's essential and what I mean is that there are a lot of interactions that.
Physicians have with their spouses that could be.

[24:31] Much more connected and much more meaningful so for example let's say I'm heading out the door to go to the hospital.
I could just leave I could say.
Hey honey I'm going I could go find my husband and give him a perfunctory peck on the cheek or what takes.
Five seconds is I could go find my husband,
and be present in my body be present in the moment not have all of me already out in the car and on the way to work while my body is still at home but really have all of me at home
kiss him on the lips in a meaningful way so that we both feel the connection,
and then head out to work in other words using whatever interactions we have to really.

[25:25] Experience being connected with one another I think that is the place to start so that.

[25:33] Then when we're apart we actually feel more connected because we've truly tapped into it and not need to wait until the weekend or a vacation.
To really get connected and synced up at a deeper level yeah I think that makes a lot of sense and that translates to relationship with our kids to and really in translates to our relationships at work I mean when
wherever you are be there so it is right so if you're going to be if you're if you're at work and you're in the middle of surgery.
You're pretty much focused on the person's abdomen right or you're focused on the.
On the harder focus on the the knee replacement or whatever it is you're doing you're really not thinking about 12 other things you're focused on what you're doing and so we can do that same kind of thing at home and so you know be.

[26:20] Present you turn off the cell phone stop thinking about stuff at work don't open up your computer until everybody is asleep you know but be there and be present I think there's a lot to be said for that I mean honestly I think a lot of marriage and a lot of relationships generally is just showing up it's amazing
how important that is and how as you just described very well how often we fail to just do that,
yeah that is an amazing image that you've just expressed like
if we all brought five ten-minute interactions with our spouses and our children the level of presence and concentration that we bring to a complex surgery,
it's not more time that we need fundamentally it is more connection and the kind of connection that I'm describing,
if you're listening you can bring it you do not need your partner to be present.

[27:19] As much as you and then together you turn up the dial you be really present and it will be magnetic you'll find your partner,
is more present to without your even having to say anything about it yeah and you know if both spouses will just focus on
being present and being putting the other person's needs first and putting the other person's goals first if both spouses do that it'll work really really well if one spouse is focused on only themselves it's going to be really challenging but.

[27:52] Serious progress is made if one person is really present that actually will change the dynamic nowhere near as far as when both people are but.
It's not a waste for one person to make the changes and.

[28:07] If we talk tactically again for a second just like in surgery you're gonna scrub before you go in and concentrate in the way the surgery requires the way to have these kinds of.

[28:21] Short but very impactful meaningful nourishing moments with our spouses is to do the equivalent of scrubbing before and that really means clearing resentments and
doing whatever you need to do in order to be present it could be.
Exercising regularly it could be if you're alone in your car on the way to work screaming every now and then like there's a way to just like get it out of your system
so when you're with your spouse you can be focused present and loving that's funny I love it so let me ask you for for folks that are listening to this and they're saying you know what
Dutch Stockwell this all sounds great but you know I just feel like the.
You know that spark is just kind of faded for me and I'm just kind of go along to get along and my spouse and I are were cordial and were friendly but it's just not.
It's just not where it used to be it's not where I wish it was,
what do you get when you how do you coach those people where do they start what's something they can do to either reignite that spark or or redirect their their energy to get back to where they want to be what about you tell them.

[29:36] The starting place is actually very simple.
And it's to cultivate curiosity and I often remind people that the experience of being in love.

[29:47] Really includes a lot of curiosity like.
What was her favorite vegetable when she was a child where does that Scar from where do you want to live where have you traveled like the experience of being in love and getting to know someone includes so much.
Interest and curiosity and who they are and one of the things that happens when we're together for a long time as we get the stability and comfort of knowing our spouse well
and the problem begins when the curiosity is sacrificed along the way so someone is just as you've described my recommendation is that you just get
curious your spouse has changed in ways that you don't know about so.
Depending on the relationship it could be like more theoretical questions something like if you could have dinner with any celebrity alive or dead who would it be and what would you ask them you know kind of.
Objective.

[30:48] But interesting questions and definitely don't ask a question unless you actually want to know the answer because your curiosity is what's driving this but also maybe things like
tell me about a challenging moment today or what are you most proud of in the week that just passed like things to get at what
the inner experiences that aren't really going to come out unless you ask so it is.
Continually astounding to me how just being curious asking a simple question and then what's really important is.

[31:26] Listening to the answer without judgment just being interested in what the other person's responses don't respond with problem solving it's just to know
unless you're asked to help problem solve that creates a kind of a pivot and a deepening of the emotional connection yeah and
the thing that's great about this is mean is that this is all simple stuff that really anybody can do I mean we're not talking about going on this you know crazy long like week-long marriage or treat and all these you know really complex things I mean these are
really simple very fundamental ideas you know pay attention to your spouse show up be present don't be distracted
be interested in them find out things that they're interested in I mean I really think that that's great and I hope that that's encouraging to people feeling like
maybe they're maybe they're here in this are going you know we're doing pretty good you know maybe we really are on the right track or maybe they're starting to think well you know
I think we're doing even better than I thought we were I guess I guess things aren't as far as bad as I thought or maybe people are hearing this going you know
this is something I can I can turn this around I mean things have been kind of stagnant for a while but now I'm getting some ideas and now I'm excited we're going to go to we're going to go.
You know do something different so I really appreciate you coming on and and talking to us and really you know sharing your thoughts on all this stuff because.

[32:51] This is one of those things that I think is as Physicians and I think as people generally we keep our marriage relationships private and.

[32:59] I think it's pretty natural for people to have a sense of guilt or Shame about some aspect of their marriage relationship they feel like maybe they're not doing things as well as they should be or as well as they could be or so-and-so's got a,
better marriage than me and we got to we got to stop doing that we got to we got to stop doing the comparison game.
And just focus on just doing the best we can focus on you know serving our partners the best we can focus on loving each other and just.
Just be focused I mean I think if we do that like you're saying then.

[33:29] You know that'll take care of a lot of things you know I really agree and it reminds me of a third thing which is unique to physician marriages it's Unique to any really educated people and that is that,
at the point at which we are in our career and feeling competent our standard of how we feel inside is as someone who's competent
and there's something about our marriage and relationships and it can feel very vulnerable to feel.

[34:01] Uncertain and incompetent in how to transform and improve a relationship and so I just want to say that's.
Normal and everything we've talked about they are small steps that bring a very big return
it's really wonderful well we really appreciate you coming on the podcast today and talking to us about this and I really hope that people will take some some encouragement some.

[34:28] Some hopefully some ideas for things that they can Implement in their own relationships.
And if people want to connect to you and learn more and maybe check out the podcast or gets you know just kind of continue the conversation with you what are some ways people can do that.
Yeah please come listen the intimate marriage podcast or find me at
the intimate marriage podcast.com
this really was an appetizer and so if you want to go deeper with me I welcome that and I certainly encourage everyone to sign up for the medicine and marriage Summit
which will just reinforce and expand tremendously on everything we've talked about yeah absolutely well thank you so much Start stock will make sure to have links to your podcast in the show notes for people
and you know be very excited to hear more from.
From all your great stuff in the future so that was dr. Alexander Stockwell be sure to go check out the great stuff that she's producing over on the intimate marriage podcast we're just going to say thank you so much for coming on the scope of practice podcast today don't Stockwell I think people are.

[35:31] Really going to be better for it so thank you so much.
Thank you I've been married for almost 15 years and I still love my wife as much as I ever have you know marriage.

[35:47] Doesn't have to fade doesn't have to become boring over time I mean it's like doctor Stockwell said I mean you can keep it fun you can keep it exciting you can keep it intimate it can be just a wonderful thing.

[35:59] It requires constant attention and continual nurturing but it's worth,
every minute you know I'm reminded of an older couple that told us something when we were engaged they said we can't promise you the marriage is going to be easy.

[36:12] But we can promise you it's going to be worth it well listen I hope you'll consider joining us tonight and the rest of this week for the marriage and money MD Summit.

[36:21] And remember it's free you can sign up for free at www.marriageguy.com money MD.com.

[36:27] Don't miss out on this amazing Summit because guys it is going to be just incredible we have got amazing speakers phenomenal content and remember it is free to attend so what are you waiting for sign up today by clicking the links in the podcast description.
Also if you upgrade to the all-access VIP pass today you get lifetime access to the presentations.
Plus 10 hours of bonus content a free online financial planning course to give you a concrete step by step plan for Building Wealth MP3 files of all the talks and exclusive access to attend the live Q&A sessions after the summit presentations each night.
Tickets are 149 until the end of the conference and then they go up to 249 so take advantage now of the great savings and upgrade today.
Just click the link in the podcast description to register and if you even just register for free for the free version of The Summit.
You are going to be amazed it's going to be awesome so click the link in the podcast description and sign up today thanks so much for joining me on the scope of practice podcast today.
You can also find all those resources in the show notes www.the scope of practice.com / episode 85.
That's www.the scope of practice.com episode 85 or just click the links in the podcast description.

[37:39] Thanks so much for joining me and I'll see you next time.
Thanks for listening to the scope of practice podcast at www.viki scope of practice die.

[37:50] Music.